Warning: I am extremely emotional right now. You do not have to read this; I just need SOMEWHERE to pour my feelings out.
It's nearly 2:30 AM and I'm still awake. My eyes hurt; I've been crying all afternoon. When Aunt Pinky called and told me you were in the hospital--that you weren't doing well--I figured that it couldn't be that bad.
But I was so wrong. You're dying, and there isn't a simple damn thing I can do to help you. I went with my mother to see you today at the hospital and couldn't stop myself from crying. Twice I had to leave the room. All the nurses and doctors sent me sympathetic looks as I wandered down the hallway, teary-eyed and blindly searching for a bathroom to try and hide my puffy eyes from you. I didn't want to upset you.
You're going home soon. They took you off the fluids while I was there. I love you so much; you were like a grandparent to me. I can't stop thinking about how that visit will probably be the last time I see you.
I just can't right now.